You never said you were 9/11
Even though I always felt that
There was something destructive about you

I could tell
From the way you spoke about things you loved,
Such as mornings and coffee and confident women

The first time I saw you
It hit me like a lightning
That you were going to wreck me so bad
I’d be irreparable
And that, there,
Was my only dream: to be wrecked by you,
For you were such an immense force
Driven by will power and the fear of being alone
You so often talked about

You never said you were 9/11
But you knew it
I could tell from the spark in your eyes
When you chose to watch that 60s tv show all over again
Just because you grew attached to it
And it kind of gave you the feeling of home

You never feared death or loss
And that’s how I knew
You hoped no one else did;
But somehow I could tell by
The way your hands shook that day
That you were going to face your worst fears in this world:
Loneliness and despair and broken coffee machines
And crying children and tomb stones and being forgotten

You never thought 9/11 would ever occur
I must admit I envied you for that-
9/11 was always on my mind
And you were so moody
I couldn’t tell whether you’d leave me
or beg me to stay

But, honey,
9/11 did occur and it was worse
than anything ever happened
Because it involved you being mistaken
About such a terrifying thing
As destroying a lover.

9/11 did happen
I didn’t make it all up just to win our bet
Of who’s going to end the world

…. But you horribly did that day:
You were the plane
And I was World Trade Center
collapsing at your feet-
You tore us both apart

And that’s why you never believed in 9/11
You never believed in your goddamn self,
Only I did.

– Vlada Bunescu


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