At the cafe:

You were so agitated; so closed;

You didn’t want to be there.

You were determined not to be there.

You decided to punish me for being there.

You said I dragged you there.

I took it all. I had faith.

But I was so nervous. I told you, too.

My heart was pounding.

You began playing with your keys on the table.

Demonstrating your disappointment.

You didn’t even look at me once.

My heart sank deep into my chest.

I could see, feel, sense the anger build up.

My heart began to race.

I glanced the menu over and over again.

And ordered what I thought was best.

You continued to flip your keys.

“Never speak of coming here again,”  You said.

“Be open, at least try,” I said.

It got you angrier.

I apologised.

You refused to look at me.

The food came.

I took a bite, you followed, reluctantly.

You took another, then another.

You smiled.

And I said to myself – there he is.

I felt relief washing over my body.

You began talking to me.

Smiling widely.

All I could see was you. Happy.

My faith restored in faith itself.

And how we laughed.

You were content.

We came home.

Chatted a while.

You texted I love you.

I immediately felt blessed.

And I thought to myself –

Today was symbolic of  our relationship.

All these years,

You’ve been afraid –

For tomorrow, for now, for yesterday.

It struck me –

If I continue to do what I did today.

Ride wave after wave of your fear – fearlessly,

Maybe then.

You’ll smile. And see that we are happy.

All you had to do was try.

I’m sure, the wait will be worth it.

You just need time.

Papa, I love you too. Every inch of you.



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