It seems like this is a vent-vault of all our negativity.
Of all my insecurities with us and a few of yours too.
But for a change, I’d like to write about the good stuff, because no matter how much we try to look at the wrong side of this relationship, the good isn’t just good, it’s great.
I loved this house, I love it more. I love how the universe works. How you and me, complete strangers 10 years ago, were somehow placed in the same vicinity of each other. Each living our independent lives, oblivious of the fact that one day our paths will cross and for a while or maybe more – be the same.
I wake up every morning and like clockwork – go to the kitchen, open up the windows, grab a glass of water and look at your bedroom window – whisper good morning, i love you and begin my day. It doesn’t matter if you’re physically there or not, it’s my ritual and at the risk of sounding nuts – my prayer.
I love that 4 years and some months later, my heart and tummy still somersault the first time I see you in the day – even if we’ve been lying down next to each other the whole night.
Science may scream Oxytocin but I beg to differ science, it’s love. You’ll know when you have what I do – a handsome, strong, part-wolf, part-bear, part-eagle, part-lion, part-warrior of a man. You’ll agree with me when this man, deep asleep, subconsciously looks for you in his bed, pulls you closer, tight and kisses whatever body part of you he finds and lets out a warm breath of satisfaction. Don’t even think about getting near my man, Science.
I love you proving me wrong, I love how your eyes fire up passionately when you know you’ve got something on me/you know you’re right/ you’ve won.
Sometimes, when we’re doing routine things – buying groceries, watching tv, reading, cooking or doing chores, I catch myself praying – like I am the luckiest woman on the planet.
I love how intense you are – although it does come to bite me often, but it also bites me in the sexiest ways.
I love how you grab all of me, pin me down and thrust into me, announcing to the universe that in that moment my body is your ship, my captain.
I love how much children, dogs and innocent things are attracted to you and how much at ease you are with them. I love your conversations.
I love how much you stick to your guns – at the risk of me being shot now and then yes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I love every contour of your face, your body – the warmth of your breath, your voice, your being. I love how hard you get inside me. I love how my body is always warm and ready for you.
I love how much you make me smile – but I love even more how much you make me laugh!
I love the many curves and angles that make up your body, my hands and fingers make maps and memorize every line, hair, fold and muscle.
I love how your eyes gaze into me when you’re about to orgasm – you look me right in the eye and that’s where I will, we will always, always prove science Wrong.
I know you’re afraid – so am I but please don’t let the fear of tomorrow trample upon the good that is today. While I write this, you are fast asleep in the room next door. And I am writing this and praying, praying that may most of our days be like today – full of love, peace and immense joy.
If I could rewrite your past, I would. Even if it meant you and I probably wouldn’t have met. I love you – Happy New Year, my Universe.
I hope this year is yours – I hope this year, you get to move forward – and don’t you worry about anything at all, I’ve got your back. I always will.